Friday, November 13, 2020

2020 - make like a tree and leave!

Now I don't often post anything, and blog even less. But this year really needs to end. 

Not only has the entire world been pretty much on lockdown since March (and believe me, March and April were BAD, you couldn't even go and buy a pair of pants - and the 3 pairs I was using had holes in rather inconvenient places!) You could also not get food while you were out working (yup yup, I still had to work, seeing as elderly people still want tidy apartments and houses, even in the midst of a pandemic). 

Of course, as if that wasn't enough, there were almost no concerts ever since March. I was lucky to be able to attend 2 concerts in July of a local singer who often performs classic rock cover songs, as well as German songs about the moon of our city. (Yes, we have our own moon!)

While the lockdown did not affect me personally, and neither does the current one, because guess what, our work still keeps going...I do know a lot of people who got laid off of work or simply can't carry out their usual work (such as musicians, venue owners, restaurant owners). And what's worrisome is, while a lot of countries gave a one time payment to people who could not work, it definitely is not enough to live off, especially in USA where prices for renting or owning a home are insane, and where the overall cost of living is high. 

Another thing that pissed me off this year is the fact that Julian Assange (journalist and publisher of Wikileaks) is still in a prison in England, for exposing war crimes of the American government. (which wants him to be locked up for the next 175 years, or worse). Now of course he did not even do aynthing other than writing about and posting material that he got from sources in the military. So why do they want to punish him for posting about something THEY did wrong? Should they not the ones being punished for committing war (and other) crimes?

I attempted to write a letter with some words of support to Julian Assange (as I found a site that had instructions on how to send him a letter), but it is still uncertain if the Royal Mail (or shall we call it... Royal Fail....) ever delivered it or not. Because the tracking website returned the error message "Sorry, we tried to deliver your parcel on 30-10-2020 but there didn't seem to be anyone in". First of all, it was a letter, not a parcel.  Secondly...I am pretty sure the recipient of the mail was in,... and in to a point that he isn't even allowed out. lol

Then the news of Sir Sean Connery's passing was also a shock, although he lived to be 90 years old. The world lost a great actor and Scotland lost a great patriot.

Enter Friday the 13th...

(not to mention it is the second Friday the 13th this year,... first one was - you guessed it - in March!!!)

Earlier today I received the news that one of my heroes and favorite musicians had to drive to the hospital due to this stupid virus that has been making its rounds on our planet for a while now. Then after work I received the news that a second one of my heroes and favorite musicians also caught it. I sincerely hope that both of them kick the virus's ass and get well.

Note to everyone

Leave your bats in their cave, and whatever you do, do NOT touch their crap.
Because we can't have our world locked down anymore. It is taking an emotional toll on everyone. Friends and even families can't see each other, people run out of money due to being out of work, and suicides are at an all time high.

Note to 2020


Monday, December 28, 2015

2015 GTFO

Nope, I did not like 2015 at all. (Well fine, I liked that I was able to visit my sweet RoCkErX).

But generally, 2015 sucked donkey balls. In AT LEAST 2015 different ways, for all I care.

As you may have guessed already, I'm mad.

Mad at the fact that this year has taken an emotional toll on the man I love.

Mad at the fact that this year has taken its toll on my amount of heroes alive, for one thing. I mean, come on, I understand it was Sir Christopher Lee's time to go (93 is kind of a proud old age!) but really, why did "Rowdy" Roddy Piper have to die? He was still young, in comparison. And he was my hero since 1990 when I was 6. :(

Mad at the fact that just 2 weeks after getting the ONE good teacher at my elderly care course he gets into an accident.

Why can't the "powers that be" keep their filthy hands of evil AWAY from the people that I look up to, the people that are my heroes and the people that I love?!

Mad at the fact that every government and every company needs a buttload of paperwork, original ideally, to even help you with your wants and needs.

 So yeah, I hope this year ends without doing anymore damage to MY WORLD.

I don't care about every other world, but I want my world and the people in it to be ok.

So whoever is in charge....I don't care if you are God, Allah, Thor, Odin, Quetzalcoatl, Shiva, Hunab-Ku, Horus, Aphrodite,....please watch over the people in my world, and help them to get well and stay well.

Especially watch over the love of my life, Roger Michael Severson Jr. (help him to realize how much I love him, and that I will always be there for him).

Watch over the most amazing teacher in the world, Dr. Friedhelm Laag (help him to recover from his accident).

Watch over my family, and over myself.

Watch over the people I've met through the years in the Johnny Cash Forum and in World of Warcraft.

And for the love of god and all holy paladins, LET 2016 BE BETTER, ELSE I WILL GET REALLY MAD!!!

 Signed by:
A very mad
very sad

Magdalena Friese/Amy Wan-Jinn (yes, that's my Jedi name!)/Kryptos973281/EasyRider/GirlInBlack

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Coconuts in the Rose Garden

...or why god, devil, soulreaper or whoever is in charge about life and death *REALLY* doesn't like me, at all.

As if it was not enough to lose Robin Williams unexpectedly less than a year ago, no, now we also get punished with further deaths of people who did make an impact on our lives in one way or another.

On June 7th, 2015 we lost Sir Christopher Lee, one of Britains most talented actors. To the older people he may be known as Dracula, for the younger Generation he is Count Dooku and Saruman the White. He played in over 300 movies (Including James Bond - The Man With the Golden Gun, Gremlins 2, Police Academy - Mission to Moscow and many many more, check IMDB for references, eventhough they are kind of incomplete, as they have been missing his German voice in
Walhalla for example).  He did a lot of voice work in narrations, and was even dubbing his own voice into other languages such as German and French for certain movies. And he did a damn good job at it! In his later years he also appeared on a lot of albums of the Italian Symphonic Metal Band "Rhapsody (of Fire)" and even released his own (symphonic metal) albums about one of his ancestors, Emperor Charlemagne.

On July 30th, 2015, we lost Lynn Anderson, a country singer most famous for the song and album called "Rose Garden".

"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine there's gotta be a little rain some time."

A *LOT* of rain followed just one day later.

On July 31st, 2015, we lost Rowdy Roddy Piper (Roderick George Toombs). One of the greatest professional wrestlers in this world, who was also a GREAT person.

It came as a huge shock to me, and his loss is the most devastating one for me since losing Johnny Cash in 2003, because without those 2 people, I would not know where I would be (or how I would be) now.

He was the nicest person you could ever meet. Two years ago I met him at the "Movie Days" event in Germany where he sat longer than any of the other guests, patiently signing autographs, answering questions and posing for photos. And just being in the same event hall as he was, gave me a feeling of invincibility, safety, and happiness.

Some of the coolest memories in Wrestling include:

 His epic battles with Hulk Hogan

Him fighting against Victor the Bear (and no, that was not some "hairy russian guy".... that was an actual wrestling bear!)

And last but not least, him smashing a coconut over Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka's head (after offering Bananas first! lol) 

Losing him is something I would have never expected. Especially not of something like a heart attack. I mean come on, he survived the craziness that is pro wrestling, he survived cancer, he survived being stabbed, he survived car wrecks and even a plane crash. It's not fucking fair. :(

Aside from his Wrestling career, he also had his own podcast, appeared in a lot of movies ("They Live" being the most famous one), TV series, and he even did voice work for cartoons!

I will miss you forever, Roddy, you made the world a  better place. I'm glad I was able to meet you 2 years ago! You've been my hero since I started watching wrestling at age 6! I love you!

And even someone who was always on the opposite side of Roddy seems to miss him quite a lot!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Results, some answers, more questions...

...and another "fuck, I miss Robin Williams"post. (Why did it have to be him in the first place, couldn't this stuff have happened to Justin Bieber or someone else we wouldn't notice if they were gone?)

To Robin McLaurin Williams: I know you can't read this anymore on your own, so I am hoping that the angels up in heaven or the fish down in the San Francisco Bay (depending on who is faster) will read this to you.

I miss you. I didn't even know you in person, but I still miss you. You have been a part that has been omnipresent in my life for the past 30 years. I loved your movies. I haven't seen every single one yet. But I'm working on it. I didn't know you spoke the Genie in Aladdin, I live in Germany and people are dubbing everything into German here, which sucks, as you can imagine! I didn't check out Mork & Mindy until after your death, but I have to say it is an amazing TV series. Kudos for mentioning Johnny Cash in it. Nanu nanu. I also did not know that you were playing World of Warcraft, that's cool! I'm sure it would have been a pleasure to play with you, shame I started playing on US servers way late. (We even named a World of Warcraft guild after your "Nanu Nanu" in your honor. Even Blizzard bowed down before you adding cool tributes to you on an island in the new Warlords of Draenor expansion).

Eventhough I knew about your drug and alcohol struggles in the past, I did not know that you were suffering from depression and Parkinson's. If I had known, I would have tried to show you that you are still loved, wanted and needed in this world. I also did not know about your DLB, but hey, people loved you as an absentminded professor in "Flubber", surely they would have forgiven you for being absentminded here and there because of your illness.

You should have talked to Michael J. Fox about Parkinson's. Could have worked on finding a cure together. Granted, he is more of a "Lucky Man" in terms of his marriage (since the same wife he married in 1988 is actually still with him) than you were, but I'm certain he would have helped you in any way possible with your battle against Parkinson's.

A lot of things still make no sense to me. Why were you cremated one day after your death? Why did your wife tell the public about your Parkinson's shortly after your death. What if you wanted to keep it secret? Why did your wife not check in on you in the morning, before going shopping? How were you feeling the past months, and why did you not tell people about your feelings and troubles? (And if you did, why did those people not react?) What caused you to lose so much weight in the time-span of just a couple of months? What caused you to lose...your life, or your will to live? (I know these questions may never be answered, but here's hoping).

Some of my initial questions have been answered in the 35-page Autopsy Report (eventhough the answers may or may not seem appropriate). 

First of all, I'm glad that neither drugs nor alcohol were found in his system.

1) Why did they sleep in different bedrooms?

"The subject had been having a hard time sleeping and was restless due to his Parkinson's and anxiety issues, which is why he was sleeping in a separate bedroom."

"The subject had been having a difficult time sleeping and would sometimes move around a lot in bed or talk loudly in his sleep, which is why he was sleeping in a separate bedroom from Mrs. Williams."

Comment: While this may seem an answer for some people, to me it is just an unimaginable amount of bollocks. For one thing, you don't call a person "subject". Subject always reminds me of "test subject", "school subject", the subject in a "subject-verb-object" sentence structure and other bad subjects like that!

Don't you think it could be beneficial for the person who suffers from depression and anxiety to have someone nearby to calm them down if they 'freak out' and to re-affirm them that they are still wanted and needed in this world, even if they are going through a rough time.

If you absolutely have to sleep in a different bedroom, at least have the decency to check up on your depressed loved one once in a while. (Most people probably don't, because they get scared off by the 'leave me alone-mood' the person might be in; but trust me, it's better to be safe than sorry).

Sure, occasionally it does happen that the person might get pissed off at you for disturbing them in their 'alone-time', but if the choice is between that and losing them forever, I know for sure which option I'd pick.

2) Did he really have Parkinson's?

The 'Surgical Pathology Report' section mentions it as follows:

"The patient is a 63-year-old man. According to the provided information, the patient developed Parkinsonian signs since approximately 2011. Symptoms included a left arm tremor, and slowing of the left hand movements. The patient was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in November 2013. Treatment with pramipexole in May 2014 led to some improvement, and levodopa was recently added to his medication regimen."

Comment: Thank god, atleast the people from the Surgical Pathology Report refer to him as a "patient"; that already sounds much better than the above "subject"!

About the Parkinson's diagnosis, he should have gotten in contact with Michael J. Fox, who has been suffering from it since 1991, to share experiences and to look for cures together.

Some questions have remained unanswered.

1) Why did his wife - knowing about his severe depression - not check in on him in the morning? (She mentioned that she thought he was still asleep, but I don't take that for an answer at all, more like a joke, a bad one).

Comment: Trust me, if you know someone with depression, you'll usually want to make SURE they are OK 24/7. Even more so if you have ever encountered people with suicidal thoughts.

2) Why was he cremated 1 day after his death?
Comment: I don't know about the USA, but there were I live, even for cremations the funeral arrangements take up to a week, if not longer. Apparently all the scans and blood that was necessary for the autopsy were gotten on the day of his passing, but yet and still, a cremation that's being done this quickly just smells foul.

3) Was there a "trigger" for his suicide? 

4) Was it even suicide?

Comment: Did they check for fingerprints of other people on specific parts of his body?

Some new questions have appeared.

1) What's the story behind the wrist watches?

"The subject secured several watches in a sock and drove them to [X] house. [X] received the watches and said the subject asked [X] to take care of them."

Comment: Who is the mysterious person, whom I will refer to as "Timekeeper" for lack of a better word? Were the watches of value?

2) What in the world happened that Robin Williams wasn't reading or watching TV in over 6 months?

"She said he grabbed his iPad and she recalled thinking it was a good thing he grabbed it, because she assumed he was in a good mood and was going to take some time to do some reading; he hadn't read or watched TV in about 6-months."

Comment: Umm...I would have asked long ago why he isn't doing those things anymore.

3) Why did neither his wife nor the ominous other person react when he complained about the way that some of his meds made him feel?

"[Y] and Mrs. Williams said the subject had complained in the past about not liking the way some of his medications made him feel, but they believed he was taking them as prescribed."

Comment: Especially in terms of anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications, it needs to be said that no brain equals the brain of another person. So medications that may work well for one person don't necessarily have to work for another person, in fact they could eve make things WORSE for that person. There is a lot of "trial and error" involved in finding the correct medication that atleast helps the depressed person to feel "normal", so if someone complains about how the meds make him feel, it SHOULD be taken seriously, and should be looked into and should be addressed by his doctor.

It is also worth noting that abruptly stopping a medication on your own can be dangerous. So do NOT do it, no matter who you are. If you don't like how certain meds make you feel, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR, ASK to be switched to different meds.

4) What was the reason for the massive weight-loss?

Compare the pics from January 2014 with the pics from August 2014 and then tell me what the hell happened? I mean it's not unusual for people to gain or lose a few pounds here and there, but in the August picture he barely looks half his usual weight.

Unsolved Riddles  

And then there was this post over at of posting August 8th.


Anyway, I'm done for the moment and I will let you off with a mean (but in a lot of ways justified) joke and some of the coolest tributes I came across on the internet:

"What's the difference between Susan Schneider and Osama Bin Laden?"
- "At least Bin Laden cared about the people he was married to!"

Tributes below:

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

O Captain! My Captain!

Nanu nanu, this is Kryptos from Earth reporting in...

...the sad news of the passing of a man who - throughout his career as an actor - put a smile on our faces. A man who many of you know as the friendly (yet a little bit weird) Alien "Mork" from the TV series "Mork & Mindy", as Teacher "John Keating" in "The Dead Poets Society", as "Professor Philip Brainard" in Disney's "Flubber", as "Dr. Sean Maguire" in "Good Will Hunting", as "Mrs. Doubtfire" or as " Airman Second Class Adrian Cronauer" (DJ for the Armed Forces Radio Service) in "Good Morning, Vietnam".


According to news sources, he was found dead in his house on Monday, 11th of August 2014. As cause of death, they assume suicide. (News sources also tell that, besides his battles against alcohol and cocaine addictions, he also suffered from severe depression). A toxicology report is yet to be published.

Depression is a topic that is difficult for us "healthy" people to understand. We don't know what it means to be suffering from this "chemical imbalance in the brain" (which often times seems to be at the very least co-created by *other* chemicals) which makes people think badly about life, and even about themselves (even though they are usually some of the coolest people on this planet - and on other planets as well!)

Healthy people don't know what crazy, scary, weird, worrysome and lonely thoughts and feelings someone with depression goes through, unless someone they love suffers from it. But even then, they only understand a fraction. But if they take warning signs seriously, they might still be able to save their loved ones. Sometimes it takes as little as a few nice words and a hug to make people change their mind.

One of Robin Williams' quotes was:

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

It's sad that someone, who made millions of people around the planet happy, wasn't happy himself in the end. And we wonder, is there something we could have done or said to change his mind? (Fuck, I would have tried, if I had known about him suffering from depression). 

In 2009 I was equally shocked about the suicide of the German soccer goalkeeper Robert Enke, who ended his life dramatically by jumping in front of a train. Who - by the looks of people from the outside - had everything going for him, including a nomination for the German national team.

Alcohol is bad as it is due to the various health issues it can cause.
Coupled with depression and anti-depressants it can be even worse, as it is known to worsen an existing depression, as well as it can make anti-depressants not work properly, or even cause some of their severe side effects to happen, suicide being one of them. If you are suffering from depression and think death is your only way out, think again. GET HELP. Open up to people you love and care about, and start your fight AGAINST depression today. Your loved ones will thank you. If you have no loved ones, e-mail me and I will give you some goddamn good reasons to stay in this world:

 PS: Maybe a lot of people who suffer from depression should have had lessons with some of the teachers I had in my early school days. I remember one time when each of us got a mirror from the teacher, on which was written "Du bist kostbar, wertvoll und geliebt!" (English: You are precious, valuable and loved") I'm sure reading that when looking into the mirror (and knowing it is true) could cheer up and help a lot of people. 


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Happy New Year 2014....or is it?

God clearly doesn't listen to Sex Pistols songs.
Nor to people's requests.

Guess I'll have to keep trying to save the world manually.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

The Last 2 Weeks, condensed.

Now, I usually don't complain (a lot). If I do complain, then usually about the weather, the GEMA, or other injustices that run rampant on this planet.

But the last 2 weeks are definitely worth to be complained about.

Firstly, my job center decided to put me into a course for the next 6 months, that apparently has the aim to aid me in finding work at some point in the future (yeah, as if...).

I don't mind so much the getting up every morning to go to the course, because the other participants are actually decent people (from whom I've already learned more about life than I probably will learn in the entire 6 months of the course about anything else), but I do mind going there to listen to weird women talking about good food, bad food, eating habits, concentration, meditation and god-knows-what-else! If I want to find my inner peace, I'll bring up YouTube and watch one of the Dalai Lama's speeches!

Furthermore, I totally dislike the way those people treat us there. They do not listen when we say stuff. (But hey, I guess most of us are already used to that, seeing as our job centers never listen to us either!) They complain about our hair, clothes, teeth, weight, skills, education and what-not-all and tell us to change those things if we want to be successful in finding a job.

My response to that was: "I'm an assistant for foreign languages and business studies, I'd prefer work in the field of translation, ideally in some office. I'm not intending to apply as an actress in Hollywood or something."

Although the other people in the course said, I could also settle for that, the way I "act" in the classroom. ;)

A lot of people there already told me, on different occasions, that they think I am over-qualified for both this course and for our job center. (I've got to agree with that!)

Mondays and Wednesdays are our "working" days, where we spend our time in the area of work that we chose. (There were only 3 options, wood working, painting and warehouse, so being the upcoming Picasso that I am, I settled for the painter's workshop - mostly also because all the cool people are there).

If you want a little insight as to what we do there, have a look at those:


Anyway, if you think this is already terrible, then try Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. lol

On Tuesdays we have 2 different women "teaching" us about food and health related stuff. Last week we learned that Coca-Cola with sugar is healthier (for the pancreas, atleast) than Coca-Cola with artificial sweeteners. We also learned that Butter is healthier than Margarine, because Margarine is produced synthetically. This week we learned for 2.5 hours that coffee is good, and for the next 2.5 hours we got told by the second woman the reasons why coffee is bad.

Thursdays and Fridays are even worse, those are spent with one and the same woman, who usually does nothing but diss us for the clothes we wear, the way we wear our hair, how overweight we are, and makes us look as if we are all generally "too dumb to live".

So far, I haven't been insulted (yet) by that "teacher" (who, if I may add, totally fails at her job, being as incapable of working with human beings as she is) but one person she likes to pick on is our illiterate person that we have there. (Who is actually a pretty smart guy, always has good ideas, works well in a team, has a driver's license, can write a little bit, can identify numbers enough to tell the teacher that she wrote something wrong on the board, when she wrote numbers like this on there: 1, 2, 4, 4, 5, 6).

He also told her that he cannot read and write (well) on Thursday last week (he doesn't like to tell it in front of the entire course, because he's afraid that people laugh about it), but Friday last week she complained that he wasn't writing anything down during lessons...

Last Thursday she sent him outside the classroom, because he was apparently "interrupting" the lessons with his talking, even though he was talking about the topic we were discussing right then and there. I told him that, if she sends him out again like that, I'll just come along. Because I see no use in sitting in a room where a so-called "teacher" doesn't respect her "students".

I wonder if those teachers even know what goes on in the mind of a person who cannot read and write, and how much it hurts them to be insulted as dumb. :(  (And also if they know how much it hurts the self-confidence of an illiterate person).

I can only recommend those teachers to watch the movie "The Pride of Jesse Hallam" to see what problems illiterate people have to deal with every day - and even more so nowadays where computers dominate nearly every work place (the movie has, of course, a happy ending, but that isn't always given in the real world because -a lot of times- the right motivation is missing).