To Robin McLaurin Williams: I know you can't read this anymore on your own, so I am hoping that the angels up in heaven or the fish down in the San Francisco Bay (depending on who is faster) will read this to you.
I miss you. I didn't even know you in person, but I still miss you. You have been a part that has been omnipresent in my life for the past 30 years. I loved your movies. I haven't seen every single one yet. But I'm working on it. I didn't know you spoke the Genie in Aladdin, I live in Germany and people are dubbing everything into German here, which sucks, as you can imagine! I didn't check out Mork & Mindy until after your death, but I have to say it is an amazing TV series. Kudos for mentioning Johnny Cash in it. Nanu nanu. I also did not know that you were playing World of Warcraft, that's cool! I'm sure it would have been a pleasure to play with you, shame I started playing on US servers way late. (We even named a World of Warcraft guild after your "Nanu Nanu" in your honor. Even Blizzard bowed down before you adding cool tributes to you on an island in the new Warlords of Draenor expansion).
Eventhough I knew about your drug and alcohol struggles in the past, I did not know that you were suffering from depression and Parkinson's. If I had known, I would have tried to show you that you are still loved, wanted and needed in this world. I also did not know about your DLB, but hey, people loved you as an absentminded professor in "Flubber", surely they would have forgiven you for being absentminded here and there because of your illness.
You should have talked to Michael J. Fox about Parkinson's. Could have worked on finding a cure together. Granted, he is more of a "Lucky Man" in terms of his marriage (since the same wife he married in 1988 is actually still with him) than you were, but I'm certain he would have helped you in any way possible with your battle against Parkinson's.
A lot of things still make no sense to me. Why were you cremated one day after your death? Why did your wife tell the public about your Parkinson's shortly after your death. What if you wanted to keep it secret? Why did your wife not check in on you in the morning, before going shopping? How were you feeling the past months, and why did you not tell people about your feelings and troubles? (And if you did, why did those people not react?) What caused you to lose so much weight in the time-span of just a couple of months? What caused you to lose...your life, or your will to live? (I know these questions may never be answered, but here's hoping).
Some of my initial questions have been answered in the 35-page Autopsy Report (eventhough the answers may or may not seem appropriate).
First of all, I'm glad that neither drugs nor alcohol were found in his system.
1) Why did they sleep in different bedrooms?
"The subject had been having a hard time sleeping and was restless due to his Parkinson's and anxiety issues, which is why he was sleeping in a separate bedroom."
"The subject had been having a difficult time sleeping and would sometimes move around a lot in bed or talk loudly in his sleep, which is why he was sleeping in a separate bedroom from Mrs. Williams."
Comment: While this may seem an answer for some people, to me it is just an unimaginable amount of bollocks. For one thing, you don't call a person "subject". Subject always reminds me of "test subject", "school subject", the subject in a "subject-verb-object" sentence structure and other bad subjects like that!
Don't you think it could be beneficial for the person who suffers from depression and anxiety to have someone nearby to calm them down if they 'freak out' and to re-affirm them that they are still wanted and needed in this world, even if they are going through a rough time.
If you absolutely have to sleep in a different bedroom, at least have the decency to check up on your depressed loved one once in a while. (Most people probably don't, because they get scared off by the 'leave me alone-mood' the person might be in; but trust me, it's better to be safe than sorry).
Sure, occasionally it does happen that the person might get pissed off at you for disturbing them in their 'alone-time', but if the choice is between that and losing them forever, I know for sure which option I'd pick.
2) Did he really have Parkinson's?
The 'Surgical Pathology Report' section mentions it as follows:
"The patient is a 63-year-old man. According to the provided information, the patient developed Parkinsonian signs since approximately 2011. Symptoms included a left arm tremor, and slowing of the left hand movements. The patient was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in November 2013. Treatment with pramipexole in May 2014 led to some improvement, and levodopa was recently added to his medication regimen."
Comment: Thank god, atleast the people from the Surgical Pathology Report refer to him as a "patient"; that already sounds much better than the above "subject"!
About the Parkinson's diagnosis, he should have gotten in contact with Michael J. Fox, who has been suffering from it since 1991, to share experiences and to look for cures together.
Some questions have remained unanswered.
1) Why did his wife - knowing about his severe depression - not check in on him in the morning? (She mentioned that she thought he was still asleep, but I don't take that for an answer at all, more like a joke, a bad one).
Comment: Trust me, if you know someone with depression, you'll usually want to make SURE they are OK 24/7. Even more so if you have ever encountered people with suicidal thoughts.
2) Why was he cremated 1 day after his death?
Comment: I don't know about the USA, but there were I live, even for cremations the funeral arrangements take up to a week, if not longer. Apparently all the scans and blood that was necessary for the autopsy were gotten on the day of his passing, but yet and still, a cremation that's being done this quickly just smells foul.
3) Was there a "trigger" for his suicide?
4) Was it even suicide?
Comment: Did they check for fingerprints of other people on specific parts of his body?
Some new questions have appeared.
1) What's the story behind the wrist watches?
"The subject secured several watches in a sock and drove them to [X] house. [X] received the watches and said the subject asked [X] to take care of them."
Comment: Who is the mysterious person, whom I will refer to as "Timekeeper" for lack of a better word? Were the watches of value?
2) What in the world happened that Robin Williams wasn't reading or watching TV in over 6 months?
"She said he grabbed his iPad and she recalled thinking it was a good thing he grabbed it, because she assumed he was in a good mood and was going to take some time to do some reading; he hadn't read or watched TV in about 6-months."
Comment: Umm...I would have asked long ago why he isn't doing those things anymore.
3) Why did neither his wife nor the ominous other person react when he complained about the way that some of his meds made him feel?
"[Y] and Mrs. Williams said the subject had complained in the past about not liking the way some of his medications made him feel, but they believed he was taking them as prescribed."
Comment: Especially in terms of anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications, it needs to be said that no brain equals the brain of another person. So medications that may work well for one person don't necessarily have to work for another person, in fact they could eve make things WORSE for that person. There is a lot of "trial and error" involved in finding the correct medication that atleast helps the depressed person to feel "normal", so if someone complains about how the meds make him feel, it SHOULD be taken seriously, and should be looked into and should be addressed by his doctor.
It is also worth noting that abruptly stopping a medication on your own can be dangerous. So do NOT do it, no matter who you are. If you don't like how certain meds make you feel, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR, ASK to be switched to different meds.
4) What was the reason for the massive weight-loss?
Compare the pics from January 2014 with the pics from August 2014 and then tell me what the hell happened? I mean it's not unusual for people to gain or lose a few pounds here and there, but in the August picture he barely looks half his usual weight.
And then there was this post over at IGN...date of posting August 8th.
Anyway, I'm done for the moment and I will let you off with a mean (but in a lot of ways justified) joke and some of the coolest tributes I came across on the internet:
"What's the difference between Susan Schneider and Osama Bin Laden?"
- "At least Bin Laden cared about the people he was married to!"